Ah Now For President

(to be sung to the tune of Who’s Gonna Feed Them Hogs by Tom T. Hall. Credit for the original idea to Eoin.)

 

Ah Now For President

I met him in a hospital about a week ago

He was lyin’ on a trolley and his voice was hushed and low

He said “son I’ve been here two whole weeks and don’t want to start a row

But the man I want for President is the man they call Ah Now.”

 

“Ah Now for President he does work behind the scenes

No-one else comes close you see for greeting kings and queens

Ah Now for President put an end to Ireland’s shame

Just the man to open Tesco Extras in our name”

 

I scratched my head “Who dat?” says I and he “Why, don’t you know?”

“Ah Now’s the only fella to keep this place on the go

He’s an economist, a jurist, a banker of great fame

And when silly doubts start bubblin’ up the folks cry out his name

 

“Ah Now for President that is the nation’s dream

The markets gave their blessing and they want him on our team

Ah Now for President that all important function

Just the man to serve our superegos an injunction.”

 

He was getting kinda heated and I said to him “relax”

But old fella here kept fussin’ on ’bout corporation tax

And the public sector workers who just had to share the pain

But when I mentioned bank bailouts he issued this refrain:

 

“Ah Now for President the man for stormy weather

No flouncing prima donnas now, we’re all in this together

Ah Now for President to bring us back to wealth

He’ll help you help the IMF to help you help yourself.

 

“The name Ah Now was firstly heard up on Calvary

When Jesus cried out “God above, why you forsakin’ me?”

Well the clouds they parted there and then, as the life drained from his brow

And from the heavens up above a voice cried out AH NOW!”

 

“Ah Now for President to lead us from the dark

I’ve visions of eighty thousand people packin’ out Croke Park

It’s twenty sixteen, and here we are, renewing our vows

Our hands on heart to breed a race of six million Ah Nows”