(to be sung to the tune of Who’s Gonna Feed Them Hogs by Tom T. Hall. Credit for the original idea to Eoin.)
Ah Now For President
I met him in a hospital about a week ago
He was lyin’ on a trolley and his voice was hushed and low
He said “son I’ve been here two whole weeks and don’t want to start a row
But the man I want for President is the man they call Ah Now.”
“Ah Now for President he does work behind the scenes
No-one else comes close you see for greeting kings and queens
Ah Now for President put an end to Ireland’s shame
Just the man to open Tesco Extras in our name”
I scratched my head “Who dat?” says I and he “Why, don’t you know?”
“Ah Now’s the only fella to keep this place on the go
He’s an economist, a jurist, a banker of great fame
And when silly doubts start bubblin’ up the folks cry out his name
“Ah Now for President that is the nation’s dream
The markets gave their blessing and they want him on our team
Ah Now for President that all important function
Just the man to serve our superegos an injunction.”
He was getting kinda heated and I said to him “relax”
But old fella here kept fussin’ on ’bout corporation tax
And the public sector workers who just had to share the pain
But when I mentioned bank bailouts he issued this refrain:
“Ah Now for President the man for stormy weather
No flouncing prima donnas now, we’re all in this together
Ah Now for President to bring us back to wealth
He’ll help you help the IMF to help you help yourself.
“The name Ah Now was firstly heard up on Calvary
When Jesus cried out “God above, why you forsakin’ me?”
Well the clouds they parted there and then, as the life drained from his brow
And from the heavens up above a voice cried out AH NOW!”
“Ah Now for President to lead us from the dark
I’ve visions of eighty thousand people packin’ out Croke Park
It’s twenty sixteen, and here we are, renewing our vows
Our hands on heart to breed a race of six million Ah Nows”
